Twentysomething Anxiety: Time, Social Media and Everything in Between

Meg Jay hit the nail on the head when she coined the phrase "Defining Decade" to describe what it means to be in one's twenties, particularly in this digital generation. A lot of young people get lost in all the options presented to them along the way, with the mentality that there is a shortcut to success, like everything else in this world. If there's something to recall in the book, it's her call to bring back the value of hard work and rid ourselves of the "You Only Live Once" (YOLO) mentality we are both proud of and shameful for. It's to sacrifice the temporary temptation of now to work towards the future we want. There's never a better time to be young than now, considering all the options we have in this globalized, information empowered world, but that isn't without its disadvantages. 

To belong to this generation is to embrace being in a constant state of contradiction - a generation that preaches authenticity through filters, a generation with a dating lifestyle that revolves around the "Fear Of Missing Out" (FOMO) only to desire intimacy in the end.  We're a generation so averse to routines, cubicles, 9  - 5 work hours, a generation so obsessed with finding our passion and travelling. We have a love/hate relationship with social media, depending on how we utilize it, or perhaps how we feel about our own lives pitted against others. We may be swept away by what we see on social media or what we read on the internet, only to realise how far away from the truth everything is. 

I'm guilty of making generatizations all the time, my thoughts on the matter not being an exception. Me writing this is not an attack on my fellow twentysomethings, but a call to self-awareness, being a twenty something myself and guilty of the things I listed above. When I created my blog, I guess I was so obsessed with making my twenties count (thus my blog name, http://www.projectwentysomething.blogspot.com). Looking back, my early twenties were carefree years marked by my time living abroad and living in the moment, where FOMO reigned in most of my decisions. My mid twenties were marked by anxieties - of reconciling who I was, who I am and who I want to be, and humbling myself in the process. Now, I am entering the final leg of my late twenties, facing a career crossroad, and having a daily battle with the slowing speed of my once impressive metabolism. I feel I am past my own quarter life crisis, for now I am at the eye of the storm, where everything is calm inside even when the surroundings appear turbulent. 

Why is it that I am so obsessed with marking what phase of my twenties I am in to begin with? If there's anything this year has taught me, it's that time is but a social construct- a prison we impose on ourselves, as argued by Eckhart Tolle in his famous book, "The Power of Now". There is pressure that comes with achieving this much by this age, and because social media is utilised to advertise our achievements (whether we do it intentionally or not) the pressure we feel is heightened. It's hard to find balance when there is so much noise around, thus the ever so growing popularity of yoga or a "back to basics" lifestyle or patronizing something that connects us with our core selves. The provincial life has never had this much appeal than before, and is the frequent destination when one decides to take some sort of sabbatical from life or from one's demanding career. We have seen this in Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love, where critics are torn between calling the account self-indulgent versus introspective. In all cases, time appears to be suspended - you feel as if time stops and there is no constant rush to be here or do this or that. In all cases, the foe seems to be man's race against the limited time he has on earth. 

Time and anxiety are probably correlated. Anxiety for me is a feeling - a paralysing one. And like most feelings, the more you resist them, the more powerful they get. If you want to get rid of anxiety, or any negative feeling you are dealing with, you have to ride out the feeling. Quit the distractions. Anxiety for me is energy that wants to find release one way or another. Negative thought patterns, looking for an outlet, "release" themselves in the form of back pains, migraines, fidgeting, or an aversion to caffeine. The plus side is that since it looks for an external host, it can be displaced into some other form, such as drawing, writing, or doing sports. Anxiety is a symptom, without a clear root cause. But because the closest way to understanding it is to understand our relationship with time, perhaps the apparent cause could also be the cure. Understand what time is to you. Why you need to rush and achieve this or be this. Understand that the time it takes to deal with anxiety is always relative to the person. There will never be shortcuts, it is just something that you deal with at your own pace. Rushing to be "ok" disrupts the natural cycle of healing that we end up taking longer because we begin with square one, which is denial. 

Free yourself from the prison that is time and live life, regardless of what age you are in. YOLO does not have to mean reckless behaviour; it could simply mean living in the present moment without worrying about the past or future to the point of analysis paralysis. Do everything and associate with who or that which leans towards the good, so that there will not be any form of moral or emotional limbo that breeds anxiety. Above all, be gentle with yourself (a favourite line from the Desiderata) and choose an image of a gentle God or life philosophy that wishes for your genuine happiness. 

Live with these in mind, one day at a time, and watch miracles happen. :)

View from San Juan, Manila, Philippines

Note: This is my first thought blurb in over a year, and I hope to get to write more and share my thoughts. Thank you for reading :)